The Homeless Psychic

( Full Audio Version Of This Story Is Located At The Bottom )

Jerry had just graduated college last Spring and ecstatic getting his dream job in downtown Chicago. Still trying to save up some money, he rents an apartment just outside the city and commutes to work via the subway. Being from a small town, it took Jerry all summer getting used to the subway system there. He was so focused on figuring out which subway lines led to where, that he didn’t much notice anything else.

Fall started rolling in fast in the Windy City. The air started getting cooler and the weather started getting a little to harsh to be outside for very long. This sudden change in temperatures meant a lot more people were staying inside and taking the subway system instead of walking or riding their bikes to work. As a lot of people do.

Having a good grasp now on the subway system, Jerry was able to focus less on trying to remember all subway lines and times and begin to observe everything around him. Of all things to notice in Chicago, Jerry started to notice a homeless looking man starting to camp out at the subway station where he gets on to go home from work. This was probably because the weather was getting worse, and he was seeking some sort of shelter. The homeless man had a cup out with a handwritten sign leaning against it asking for spare change, and of course God Bless!

One day Jerry was waiting for his train to arrive, and he overheard the homeless man mutter “Pig” to a larger woman who had walked by and dropped some change into his cup.

Jerry thought Wow, he must be crazy. He is asking for people to give him money while insulting them.

Then a tall businessman walks by the homeless man and drops a couple bucks into the cup. He then hears the homeless man say, “Human”.

Jerry then just figured he was calling people out by their personality or something.

The next day, Jerry got off work a little early and decided to head to the station and stand next to the homeless man to hear what he has to say about other people.

Sure enough, a thin older man walks by, drops a couple coins into the cup and the homeless man mumbles “Cow”.

Jerry thought to himself, Cow? How could this guy be a cow? If anything, he looked more like a chicken or a bird of some sort.

Then a rather overweight looking gentleman walks by, gives a dollar to the homeless man and the homeless man says “Potato”.

Jerry thought for sure he was going to call him “Pig” like he did the larger woman from yesterday. So, it wasn’t a personality thing, or what the person looked like, Jerry thought to himself.

Unfortunately, the train arrived, meaning he couldn’t hear what the homeless man was going to say about other people that day. Figuring he would just have to wait until tomorrow, Jerry made his way home. All night long Jerry was trying to wrap his head around how this homeless man was categorizing people. It was driving him crazy. Then, for some odd reason, Jerry remembered his college roommate. His family believed in reincarnation, so he thought to himself, the homeless man might have some strange psychic ability and he could tell what people were going to be in their next lives or what they were in their past lives..

So, the next day Jerry was almost giddy to get done with work and get to the station to see if his guess might be true.

Like every other day the homeless man was there, and people passed by dropping change into his cup. Jerry would hear him say things like “Duck” or “Rabbit” or “Banana” or “Tomato”. Believing that he was right Jerry walked over to the homeless man and dropped a couple dollars into his cup. Right then the homeless man looked up and said “Bread”.

Jerry got a little confused. How could he be Bread? Not making any sense to his theory, Jerry just had to know what the homeless man’s odd system was. So, he asked the homeless man why he called him Bread? Jerry then proceeded to tell him that he had noticed him call other people by different types of animals or fruit or vegetables and thought he was psychic and could tell what their past lives were or what they will be in their next life.

The homeless man replied that he was indeed psychic, but not in the way of telling the future or reading peoples minds, rather he knew what the last thing a person ate was.

Jerry thought for a second trying to remember what the last thing he ate was. In fact, It was a roll that came with his salad during lunch that day. That’s crazy, Jerry thought to himself. What an odd type of psychic ability to have.

The train arrived and Jerry got on. Still dumbfounded about the homeless man’s useless psychic ability, he began going over all the things the homeless man said to people after they dropped some change in his cup.

Suddenly, Jerry’s eyes got really big, and his face went pale,

“OH! GOD!”

Thank You For

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